I guess the reason I am going there is because this past Saturday we went to Priddy Farms with our Sunday School Class. We had a GREAT time. Max was running around and enjoying playing with all the kids. I however LOST our camera that we just got a few months ago. I have been RACKING my brain since that night because I honestly have no recollection of what I did with it. I know that I kept it in my backpocket for most of the night but at the end of the night it wasn't there. I remember the last pics I took but don't remember what I did with the camera after that! Ugh! I am just so mad at myself. How can I be so irresponsible! I know I am human but I just never have been so irresponsible as I am now! The sad thing is this isn't the first thing I have missed place. I also lost my wedding rings in which I looked for hysterically crying and found them behind the deep freeze hours later!!! What the heck?! I don't remember even putting them there!!!
I also feel like I am MAD at the world ALL the time!! I mean I slammed a door a few weeks ago because I was being overly dramatic and this past week Max tried to slam a door in my face. I mean seriously how can you be mad at your child for repeating actions that he learned from YOU! I mean I did tell him NO he should not do that but I also had to say that mommy shouldn't have done it in the first place.
Things are just so crazy around here and I feel like Max is getting out of control. I guess I am worried he is getting out of control because of me or something I am doing wrong! I hate how when your kid does something bad you feel like you are a complete FAILURE! I mean Max bit at school this past week and I have just been so upset over it! What is happening to my sweet little boy! I mean does having another baby really cause such a BIG ADJUSTMENT to a 2 year olds life that he would start to act out in such a way that EVERYONE is noticing??? And if that is the case what can I do to make his world a little better? I mean he really seems to love Emery?! I just don't know what to do....I just feel like things are falling apart more often then not....
It doesn't help that I am dreading going back to work in less than 2 weeks! I guess I am worried that things are just going to get worse. I mean if Max is having this much trouble adjusting to Emery what is he going to do when I go back to work. I mean he has had mommy home for almost 6 months!!
Sorry, this post is kind of bouncing all over the place but I just have so many thoughts going through my head. I guess I just want to know if any others are going through things like this or if anyone has any suggestions on what to do to make things better. I just don't feel confident in anything I do these days.... I mean is this all normal?!
5 comments:
Oh Jenny, I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time!! Having two kids so close together just means there's bound to be some days that are just completely crazy! The sleep deprivation doesn't help matters at all I'm sure!
I've def had some moments where I felt like I was losing it! With allie, I felt like I had everything completely under control, and its been hard having some days where that's just not the case! I think God has been trying to teach me that some days this really is too much for ME to handle, but its not too much for Him. So, I'm doing my best to not expect myself to be super mom and to rely on Him to help me.
And, remember the sleepless nights don't last forever!!
Bless your heart! First of all - I think Max's behavior is all his age. Knox is at a very "trying" stage right now too and I think it peaked about 3 or 4 months ago - right when he was Max's age... Although we def still have "moments". (Yesterday he threw a 2hr fit with out letting up.)
Second of all - I was totally emotional at the thought of having to go back to work too. although it's unfortunate that I felt forced to turn in my notice and not return, I can't deny that a huge part of me feels relief. So I totally get how that could be throwing you for a loop!
I'll pray for you and for sweet Miss Emery to let you catch a break!
This is so refreshing to read--I feel like I'm not the only one now!! I could have written that exact same thing with just minor details changed!! I feel in the past week, we've finally gotten over the hump--but I would DIE if people knew how much clean laundry that is in my laundry room waiting to be folded, or the fact that my sinks are FULL of dirty dishes! Not to mention, I don't think my bed has been made in 2 months and the list goes on and on! I've realized it's impossible for ME to do it all--I always read other's blogs and wonder HOW they do it?? But then I realized people might be thinking the same thing about me?! Ha! I realized just what a small piece of my life I actually "blog" about and all the "bad" stuff gets hidden :)
Jenny- You are showered with prayers, from me and what seems like some amazing Godly friends who left you encouragement. I'll be praying for your strength.
Hey, put some vid of Emery on here so I can see her.
Charity
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